I Just Called to Say I Love Yu

News broke late Wednesday night that the Nippon Ham Fighters will post star Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish, and the Rangers, Yankees, and Blue Jays are reportedly among the teams interested in his services.

In 2011, the Rangers, and Nelson Cruz in particular, gave copywriters across the print and internet media an opportunity to show their comedic wit. Fans were dazzled by puns such as:

“Cruz Control”
“Whoa Nellie!”
“Rangers Cruz to ALCS Title”

This got me thinking. Just what are we in for with Yu Darvish? Here are some potential top 40 musical hits that could possibly be incorporated into Darvish stories:

Yu Can’t Always Get What Yu Want (Rolling Stones)
Headline: Dallas Morning News, December 2011. Rangers outbid by Blue Jays for Darvish.

Yu Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer)
Headline: NY Post, August 2012. Yankees light up Darvish in first trip to Bronx.

Yu Got It (Roy Orbison)
Headline: ESPN.com, October, 2013. Darvish wins wild card playoff game.

Yu and I (Lady Gaga)
Title: Catcher Jorge Alfaro’s 2043 autobiography reflecting upon the Rangers years.

I’ll Be There for Yu (The Rembrandts)
Photo Caption, Leonys Martin: Dallas Morning News, October 2012. Martin reaches over fence to rob a would-be grand slam allowed by Darvish.

Whatever Yu Like (T.I.)
Headline: January 2012, Dallas Morning News. Darvish negotiates record salary for Japanese pitcher.

The Way Yu Move (Outkast)
Headline: Fangraphs, June 2012. Pitch FX analysis of Darvish cutter.

Yu Get What Yu Give (New Radicals)
Darvish hits free agency to lukewarm offers after failing to live up to expectations.

This Japanese commercial is reportedly not about Darvish.

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